As an oldest child and as a member of the church, I've always been pretty independent. I could take care of myself, get all my work done, and still go to church on my own. No problem. I knew a lot of things about the gospel, or so I thought.
Confession: I never really had a strong desire to serve a full time mission. At. All. EVER. But God told me I needed to.
Your know how it is when a parent tells a rebellious child to do something and they do the opposite of that?? That's kinda what I did...for six months.
After digging myself into a dark, deep, and depressional ditch, six months and one day after the missionary age was lowered, I went to my bishop and started my mission papers (still keeping one foot in the world).
Soon after, I broke up with my current boyfriend (because God told me to), had knee surgery (and got cleared), and finally submitted my papers (just over 3 months later).
THEN, my call to serve came.
I still had one foot doing what I wanted, but when you're dancing with God, you can't do that. You must be focused and committed or else you ruin the whole waltz
HOUSTON TEXAS MISSION was written on the paper, the "belt buckle" of the "Bible belt". How much more south can you get in the states?? Going to a place with an ego the size of that single star on its flag...was I ready??
I thought so. Three and a half months to prepare my belongings and get things together and off I went, with only me luggage to my name and a ticket to Salt Lake City International Airport. Just over 12 hours later, I walked through the gates of my new home for the next two weeks.
The MTC. It felt like such a dream, a whirlwind of an adventure. The MTC is a spiritual powerhouse; imagine being sprayed with a fire hose...full throttle...from 2 sides.
It's exhausting.
I began to realize that I did have a testimony of it all...but it was weak. What I also realized through it all is that I had never really received that total knowledge confirmation of The Book of Mormon, the keystone to it all. I had prayed about it and I believed it, but I never really got that lightning bolt feeling through me.
As I learned how to bring others closer to Christ, I learned I needed to have a solid testimony.
Did i truly know The Book was true? Kinda
There's only like +15 million people who have received that witness...
BUT
Did I really know for myself? No.
I had read The Book of Mormon...twice...and I had prayed about it...More than twice. Never had I really felt that feeling everyone talked about.
I did know that Jesus was the Christ, The Savior, Lord, Redeemer of mankind. He was sent by His Father, our Heavenly Father, to save all people from their sins through the Atonement and by the shedding of His blood.
I knew there was a plan laid out and the Gospel was that plan...but I never sincerely prayed about The Book of Mormon. So I prayed...and never really felt anything.
We were teaching Frank. Frank had a little confusion about something...I really can't remember what...but I began to testify.
I testified of Christ, I testified of prayer and I testified of THAT Book, The Book of Mormon, and as I testified, that bolt hit me like I had NEVER IN MY LIFE felt. It rang true and showed me that you never really realize how much you do know until you are telling it to someone you absolutely don't know.
You never know the power of your testimony until you are bearing it. NOBODY, not anyone, can deny your testimony. Try as they might, they may change it if you let them...but nobody can deny the power behind YOUR testimony.
GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE. It is precious and it is yours as confirmed by the Lord.
My life has been forever changed by my love for the Lord.
Because I love the Lord, I am serving a mission.
Because I love the Lord, I am changing my life for eternity.
For eighteen months of my "prime adulthood", I am serving a mission...because I love the Lord.
Nobody has ever served my mission and nobody ever will.
Through all this "thickness", I never thought i would have this much gratitude for God telling me to go on a mission. I thought I knew best, but really, I didn't and I never will.
I testify in the name Jesus Christ, my redeemer, that The Book of Mormon is true! It is evidence of Christ's coming and second coming in the last hour. Revelation will be received, sincere prayer will be answered, and truth will be testified to you through the power of the Holy Ghost. Act upon Moroni's promise in Moroni 10:3-5: "...and by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye may know the truth of all things." Not just some things, but ALL things. Seek earnestly and you will find.
I so testify, in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen!